Wedding day

It was a nice day -- bright sunshine and a cool breeze weaved in and out of Celadon, The Sukhothai's Thai house-restaurant where the ceremony was held. The day began with the groom’s family and friends gathering outside the house with various offerings to the bride’s family. Members of the procession bore the dowry (the reverse of the Chinese custom where the dowry accompanies the bride), banana and sugar cane saplings, and nine types of Thai sweets, among other things. My young cousins blocked the procession’s passage at three different points inside the house, and they had to be bribed in order to allow the group through. The group eventually gained access, and everyone settled inside the house for the formal engagement ceremony.

Meanwhile, I was delayed with the make-up and, restricted by my long, narrow Thai dress, had to scurry to Celadon where the wedding party was waiting. I took a short cut across the bedewed lawn, only to be hindered by my high heels sinking into the mud.

I eventually made it to Celadon which was simply decorated with lotus flowers. The backdrop contained a gold Styrofoam ‘VM’ in curly lettering, despite our best efforts to exclude this earlier. Once I came in, I joined Mai on the floor in front of our parents, my grandmother, and elderly friends representing the groom’s family. We prostrated at their feet in respect (very hard to do in my dress - heard a seam in the dress split when I practiced this the night before, oops...) and proceeded to exchange rings as part of the engagement.

We then got up and lighted candles in front of a Buddha image, and began the water pouring, the actual marriage ceremony. I don’t know much about the symbolism associated with these rituals and our ceremony was simplified somewhat. We didn’t have monks chanting, nor consecrating water that was to be poured on our hands and cotton cords that were to be placed on our heads. These items were procured in advance, pre-blessed - the water conveniently transported in plastic bottles.

My parents and a family friend respectfully donned and removed the cords at the start and end of the cremony. It was a nice ceremony as we limited attendance to family and close friends. Elders, beginning with my grandmother, poured the water, granted their blessings, and offered advice. We then had a Chinese tea ceremony, serving tea to the elders, signed the marriage license, and sheepishly posed for pictures in the hotel garden.

The morning's events were over in three hours but I started my evening make-up and hair right away. More eyebrow plucking, eyelash extensions, face powder, eye shadow, rollers, and hair gunk followed. It was excruciating, and I’m now living with stubbly eyebrows.

The reception was in the small ballroom and we greeted and took pictures with most people who came (maybe about 300?). We were outside the main room most of the time, thinking of the thank you speech we had to make.

After everyone was done eating, Mai's family friend -- a cute little lady -- delivered a toast and we said our thank yous. Once that was over, I felt instantly relieved. We then cut and served the cake, and the guest exodus ensued. The reception was pretty much over by 8:30 pm but we hung out with friends and family for awhile, picking at leftovers and catching up. The ham was a big hit, the butter cake wasn’t too dry, and our feet were ok. All in all, it was a good day. Whew.